When I notice I'm anxious, everything feels tense. My shoulders are in my ears, my breath is shallow or sometimes held, my belly is a rock and my jaw is clenched. It creeps up on me through my thoughts and takes over my whole system.
What I notice in my clients is the tension is unconscious. Either they're thinking about something or we're talking about something that forces their body to take over and tense to brace for impact for whatever feels scary.
When I feel that something isn't releasing and I've tried more than one approach, I ask what they're feeling where I'm working. Sometimes they're aware that they're not able to let go, sometimes they're disconnected and don't "feel" anything, and sometimes they're feeling too much. I always tell clients that on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is the most intense, I never want my work to pass a 7.
I want them to be able to breathe through whatever we're doing so their body is at ease. If their body tenses in response to my work, it's not helping. This goes for any bodywork or massage that you receive. There is no practitioner that can feel what you feel (no matter how intuitive they are), so they always need your input and communication. When we tense, our body instinctually goes to protect which puts us on high alert. That's not where healing happens because we're in survival mode.
If you're looking to let go of tension, you need to feel safe to relax.
I've been working on something with my pilates instructor lately because my ribs tend to flare forward and it's hard to relax my back. What happens is that in certain positions or with certain activities, my breath gets stuck. In this month's video, I'm sharing what helps me ease that pattern. It's simple and subtle, but helps with so much including calming anxiety. Share your experience in the comments if you try.